Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Bachelor Tuesday

For such a bummer show on Monday full of frustration and confusion, Tuesday started off with a bang.  Can I just say, Sean and Catherine rolling around in the snow during a blizzard was killing me!  Nothing says romance like a one-piece snowsuit right?



Of course, it's cute how giddy they are when they're together.  They act like kids are excited to spend time together.  But between the grandpa way Catherine was wearing her hat and Sean's "Mr. Heat Miser" snow hair, I just couldn't help but watch and cringe a bit.












Okay ABC execs... I've told you once and I'll tell you again.... STOP MAKING SARAH DO TWO ARM TASKS!  The poor girl is now stuck rowing a canoe.  



"I just wanted a shark to come out of the lake and eat their boat," hee...........hee.........hee....... says Selma.  I'm not sure if she was choking or having a seizure during that laughing session.  For such a cute girl, she definitely just made herself look like a nursing home patient.



These dates are getting weirder and weirder.  "Hey ladies, grab your swimsuits and let's jump into freezing cold water and give Tierra more of a chance to act hurt and get all my attention."  I'm confused on if I'm watching The Bachelor or Survivor.  


And now comes the moment when Tierra throws herself down the stairs again!  Okay... maybe not stairs, but something new... hypothermia!  Definitely never thought I'd see that one on the Bachelor.  The girl is a complete professional when it comes to ways to get attention.  Meanwhile, Leslie hasn't unglued herself from Sean.  Like a toddler hanging off their parents.  


Now comes operation save Tierra!  Hurry!  Call the hospital!  Tierra's makeup is running!  Oh I mean, she's shivering because she just jumped into freezing cold water.  Quickly after making it back inside, Tierra quickly pulls herself out of her shaking patterns and says, "I'm missing spending time with him."  Dang it girl!  Your plan didn't work!  Quick, find some stairs and throw yourself down them!  That trick worked last time!


But don't worry, Sean gets sucked into her cloud of confusion and spends time with her.  Nothing's sexier than a girl in bed with an oxygen nasal cannula.  Yes Sean, at this point, I seriously think you're losing it.  


"If this is a class, she should teach it.  Watch your back everyone, this is a Tierra-ist."  Thank you Leslie for that clear and accurate description.  By pure miracle, Tierra suddenly feels good enough to head down to the party.  She walks in the door and there's a good minute of pure silence.  And to make it worse, Sean talks marriage with Tierra.  Sean used to be an insurance agent.... don't you think he should know a false claim when he sees one?  



ABC execs, hope you enjoyed it while it lasted.  No more "what can stubby do" events are going to happen on the Bachelor.  (At least for this season).  Sean sent sweet Sarah home even before the rose ceremony.  I do think it's nice of him to not drag her along, but this poor girl has been through enough shock moments and then you yank her out of the room with all the other girls and dump her and then make her go back in and face her competition?  Not so good.


Desiree gets to repel down the mountain with Sean and continually reminds him that it's steep.  Good thing Sean is there with extra oxygen to help her her along.  And don't worry, the romance didn't end there.  They played pretend papa bear and baby cub and climbed a tree.  Ahh... such a dream!  "I opened up about living my life in a tent, and here I am falling in love in a tee-pee."  All time best quote of their date!



Selma breaks away from her family and kisses Sean.  She's a disgrace to her culture and bringing out the "big guns" as she says, but I'm pretty sure she brought her sisters out as well for the win.


"Ladies, Sean, this is the final rose tonight, when you're ready."  The room was filled with the awkward stares once again.  You could hear women from all over yelling in their living rooms as Sean called out, "Tierra" and gave her the final rose.  Adios Daniella and Selma.  Sadly enough, Selma disrespects her family and still gets sent home.  Yes, oddly enough, a push-up bra and long desired kiss don't always find you a husband.

As the previews for next week show, it looks like Tierra-ist plays "stair fall" again and
sucks Sean in even more into her weird world.  Until then...

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